ONE BRIBE FITS ALL

United Nations auditors have charged Halliburton with fraud in Iraq, and want the United States to repay them $208 million, which came from Iraqi oil money, for both shoddy work and massive over-charges.

These U.N. charges are grossly unfair.  It is a clear case of double jeopardy. Halliburton has already paid off their good Republican friends in Washington.  Just how many people do they have to bribe, anyway?!

Besides, we weren’t really serious about the U.N. improving their auditing in the first place.  These damn foreigners can’t take a joke.


                                            THE BIGGER THEY ARE

Riotous public protests and sharp criticism from many public leaders greeted President Bush. in Argentina to promote his free-trade plan for the Americas.

Mr. Bush was unfazed by the negative response of these small nations, and noted with pride that a lot of much bigger countries around the world also have no use for him.


                                           BACK IN THE CLOSET AGAIN

Frustrated by the lack of the promised investigation by the Republican controlled Senate into the administration’s rationale for the Iraq war, the Senate’s Democratic leaders invoked the rarely used Rule 21 to force the Senate into closed session. 

That desperate action alone is enough to describe the feeble power of the Democrats.  The only way they could be heard was to force the Senate into closed session where they couldn’t be heard.


                                                 OPPOSING DIGITS

The Mayor of Las Vegas, furious at the taggers who were messing up buildings, walls, overpasses, etc. with their vandalous acts, proposed as punishment that they should have their thumbs cut off. 

Civil libertarians in the community were quick to respond to this draconian suggestion.  They gave the Mayor a finger.


                                             JUSTICE, TEXAS STYLE

Honest Tom DeLay was able to convince an overly-friendly Texas administrative judge to remove the first judge appointed to preside over Mr. DeLay’s criminal trial and appoint one more pleasing to DeLay. That ploy failed, and the administrator had to recuse himself, number two judge was out as well, and a third judge, named Priest, took over.

However, this is Texas, where judges win office in partisan elections, are allowed to make financial contributions to partisan causes, and where people and corporations with business before the courts can subsidize the judges' political campaigns.

Tom isn’t worried about the outcome of his Texas-style trial.  All the jurors there know that he is a straight shooter, or at the very least has friends who are.


                                                    OVER THERE

The former British ambassador to the United States reported that his country’s participation in Mr. Bush’s war in Iraq had partly radicalized and fueled homegrown terror.

President Bush was quick to respond.  He said, “It’s just as I said, we can either fight the terrorists in Iraq, London, Madrid, or over here.”


                                         CAFFEINE CRAZED THOUGHT

Wouldn’t it be interesting if the Starbuck’s employees held a protest rally?

It would go like this:

Leader: WHADDA WE WANT?

Frenzied crowd: FREEDOM!

Leader:  WHEN DO WE WANT IT?

Frenzied:  Would 6:30 PM next Wednesday do for you?


                                                  SCOOTER TRIPPED UP

Scooter Libby’s arraignment exposed a tightly held secret of the Republican administration.  Their attacks against rich trial-lawyers that supported Democratic candidates with money won in personal injury cases, medical malpractice suits and class-action suits against corrupt American corporations were only a subterfuge.

The cat was out of the bag when Scooter showed up on crutches at the courthouse represented by not one but by two high-priced trial lawyers, Ted Wells and Bill Jeffress.

The attorneys admitted that they have a lame defense for Scooter.  They insist that Libby’s only communication with Judith Miller came after he tripped over a Sunday New York Times she had thrown on to his doorstep.

Libby chimed that he really never had anything against trial lawyers.  “As a matter of fact,” he said,  “Some of my best friends are trial lawyers.”

He will have a different set of lawyers to defend him when charges are made about the source of money used to pay these lawyers.

Comments

[Cynthia Mc]

I really like "Dummy, Chummy and Rummy" -- that works for me.

I've been waiting a long time for for the American public to wise up and for this administration's lies and deceptions to catch up with them. It's taken a long time, but it looks like it's finally happening. I just wish it could have happened before the U.S. body count in Iraq hit 2,000 and before we lost New Orleans.