KEEP THE FAITH

The IRS is pursuing investigations and notifying churches and not-for-profits across the nation that they can and will lose their tax-exempt status if they protest actions or policies of the government.  The IRS has already targeted All Saints Episcopal church in Pasadena, CA, because of their outspoken opposition to the war in Iraq, and the NAACP for their stand against the civil rights violations of the Bush administration.

This is an extension of George’s Faith-based initiative.  The great leader has faith that everyone will act in as base a manner as he does.

He believes that churches should confine themselves to praying to God, and also remember that he is God.


                                         SURPRISE!?

The following extract is reprinted verbatim from an above-the-fold front-page article in Thursday’s (7/20/06) New York Times.

“His case is typical of efforts to punish lawyers, journalists and participants in environmental health and religious groups who expose abuses or organize people in a manner officials consider threatening.”

That article was not about Bush, Cheney, the IRS, or anyone else in the United States.  It was about someone in the other Evil Empire, China.


                              DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL

Two New Jersey schoolboys separately complained recently that in yearbook sports photos, a tiny portion of their genitals can be seen up the legs of their shorts. One of the student’s lawsuit was dismissed, and the other boy (in a different high school) is considering a lawsuit, even though a school official ordered the offending page ripped out of all books.

The same thing happened to me when the photographer claimed that it was only a tiny portion of my genitalia … and I was too embarrassed to confess that was the entire … oh, never mind.


                              SORRY, WRONG NUMBER

A 45-year-old lady was extremely impressed with the really, really cute good looks of an Oregon Deputy Sheriff who knocked on her door in response to neighbors complaints of noise in her apartment.  Shortly after he left  (without citing her), she dialed 911 and admitted to the dispatcher it was not, “in any sense of the word an emergency but if you would give the officer my phone number and ask him to come back, would you mind?"

The dispatcher did send her dream cop back. Unfortunately, he arrested her for misusing the 911 system, an offense punishable by a fine of up to several thousand dollars and a year in jail.

She has learned her lesson. Next time she gets that hot, she will call the fire department.


                                   TRUE OR FALSIES?

1) Good women, really good women, supported by their protective parents and brothers, can now purchase bathing suits that are modest in every detail, and, indeed hide every detail. They consist of a full-body wetsuit, in turn covered by something akin to a dress that hides even the outlines of the female form.

2) Simultaneously, another marketer is profiting from women who love to parade about in mini bikinis and thongs on beaches and at pools, and who wear the exposed belly and butt-revealing jeans.  He pays them large sums to have ads of his clients tattooed tastefully on their prime locations.  As an added inducement, his company offers the exotic models another tattoo done by a leading artist anywhere on their body that cannot be seen by gawkers, lest they conflict with the paid ads.

3) A domestic airline, desperate for added revenue, however small, wherever it can be found, is about to revive an old money-making scheme, selling advertising on barf bags that are located at every seat.  These figure to be used more and more frequently, as the quality of food served on commercial U.S, planes continues to get worse.

Now for the quiz.  Pick the right answer: 1) One of these stories is true.  2) Two of these stories are true.  3) All three of these stories are true.

Comments

[ahwarren]

...not only is this issue the work of a genius
but one who is obviously 'in heat' at the
writing....congratulations ! !