HEY, GOD!  CHECK THE VOTE-IF CANDLES

U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris, Republican candidate for Senator from Florida, insisted that “Separation of church and state is a lie, and God is the one who chooses our rulers."  She continued, "If you're not electing Christians, then in essence politicians are going to legislate sin, including abortion and gay marriage.”

Harris’ campaign has been marred by news of her accepting $32,000 from a corrupt defense contractor. Leaders of the Republican Party, including Gov. Jeb Bush have been deserting her in droves.

Now wait just a darned minute!  Republicans love getting tons of money from Enron and Halliburton and Exxon.  It must have been the miniscule amount that upset them.

And the fickle bastards loved Katherine when she helped steal the election for George Bush.

Sister Katherine clarified her position at a She Hasn’t Got A Prayer Breakfast:   “It is all the fault of Governor Judas Bush.  The anti-Christs have taken over the party.”

In other campaign news, Joe Lieberman denied having an affair with Katherine, insisting they were just God-fearing friends.


                                           NOW THEREFORE

WHEREAS  Mr. Bush now agrees that there was no connection between Iraq and 9/11, and

WHEREAS  Mr. Bush now states categorically that no one in his administration ever said that Saddam Hussein was involved in 9/11, and

WHEREAS  no weapons of mass destructions were found in Iraq, and

WHEREAS the mission was not accomplished, and

WHEREAS the insurrection was not in its closing days, and

WHEREAS the press was not responsible for the insurrection, and

WHEREAS the Bush boys did not do a heck of a job in dealing with Katrina, and

WHEREAS even Mr. Bush no longer believes himself, and

WHEREAS he violated one of the basic rules of politics by changing lies in midstream, and   

WHEREAS Mr. Bush’s loyal supporters who believed him when he lied us into and throughout the war, and must now have to disbelieve him when he tells the truth or else feel like total idiots, and

WHEREAS they really don’t have much chance either way

NOW THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED That Messrs. Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld and those fervent fanatics who continue to support them should not be compelled to wait for Armageddon, but should leave at the earliest possible time for a friendly face-to-face chat with the gentleman who presides over the nether regions.


                                          THE 1% DOCTRINE

Dick Cheney the Good: “If there was even a one percent chance of terrorists getting a weapon of mass destruction…the United States must now act as if it were a certainty.”

Hezbollah chief Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah the Evil: When asked if he would have kidnapped the two Israeli soldiers on July 12 if he had known on July 11 it would lead to the war like the one that just took place, he responded categorically, "I would say no, definitely not, for humanitarian, moral, social, security, military and political reasons.”

OK, isn’t that at least 1% funny?


                                   NEW ORLEANS JAZZ

On the anniversary of Katrina, President Bush spoke in New Orleans, a city still suffering from almost criminal clumsiness by his administration during and immediately following the onslaught of Katrina, and a continuing lack of adequate federal support one year after the hurricane disaster.

A recurring theme in his talk was a threat to stay the course.

Comments

[Emalee Andre]

Bob: You're getting better and better. I loved your unfolding stream of non events and non accomplishments in "Now Therefore."
I don't know what TypeKey or TypePad is. Are you ready for Mac's Leopard?
Emalee