WHOA MOMMA

Mother Teresa was considered a sure bet for sainthood until her diaries revealed that for about fifty years she had more doubts than faith.

There are humongous numbers of impoverished Indian ladies who became real mothers because of her who might want to terminate her sanctification.

One thing that might save her elevation is that her church is opposed to aborting anything. 

Indulge me on this.  They will undoubtedly decide that Teresa’s expressions of doubt were proof of the power of her faith, and that they have faith in her doubt, which they doubtless will doubt.

Just to be on the safe side, they may make a few changes in the ceremony.

The hymns will include, “Jacob’s Ladder, Broken Rung,” and, “When The Saints Go Backing In.”

AND THE ULTIMATE THOUGHT!  The Roman Catholic Church is about to elevate to sainthood a person who spent fifty years doing good works despite not having any strong faith, but filled with very strong doubts.  Wow! The humanists may be getting their very first saint!


                            THE RETURN OF THE CRAIG

After pleading guilty to signaling what appeared to be his desire to engage in a lewd act (by tapping his foot) in the stall of a men’s room in a Minneapolis airport, Senator Craig announced that his plea was a mistake. 

He next announced his intention to resign from the United States Senate, and very quickly followed that with the statement that he was going to stay in his job.

The very next day, it was indicated that he was going to resign.

The man needs a change of footwear.  Those flip-flops are not working for him.


                                AH, SO

Chinese leaders responded to President Bush’s challenge to clean up their environment, telling Mr. Bush that if we want to stop pollution, we have to control our population.  They also said that if Barbara had practiced birth control in October 1945 the world wouldn’t be in the mess it is today.


                         I WONDER

Am I the only one who wondered why no one mentioned the source of the Craig men’s room story?  Obviously, somebody leaked.

Am I the only one who wonders why Christian leaders trying to make everyone else in this country follow Christian laws are so upset when Muslim leaders in Islamic countries try to make all the people there live by Islamic laws?

Am I the only one who wonders why all those politicians who  “go for their base,” always go for the basest of the base?

Am I the only one who wonders how long it will take before one of the nymphets we drop in the clink for short stays reports not just finding Jesus there, but demanding DNA tests for their new baby?

And I the only one who won’t be surprised to read that story in one of the tabloids?


                         ONE FOR THE HATERS

As a humanist, when I die, I will be surprised if I were to meet God.

On the other hand, when a lot of right-wing, racist, homophobic, hypocritical, bible-thumping political sonsabitches die, God will be very surprised to see any of them.

Send your hate mail to the address below.  However, be aware that your signature is attached to your e-mail.

bobkaufmann@mac.com