January 15 was a remarkable day at the White House. For the first time in eight years, a wonderful speech was made lauding the triumphs of the Bush administration.
Too bad, it was Bush giving the speech.
In all fairness to the departing President, not once did he demand an apology from the Hussein family for not having weapons of mass destruction.
And he refrained from awarding himself one of those medals that he gave to his Katrina team.
January 20 should be an interesting day. One American president is being sworn in.
The other one is being sworn at.
Just like George Bush before him, Barack Obama has committed us to going after bin Laden, promising to capture or kill him.
Who the hell are we kidding? We couldn’t kill Muammar Gadaffi, and we knew the tent he was living in at the time.
And the last time I looked, Fidel Castro was still hanging on after 40 years of our trying to off him.
We should stick to hunting Big Foot. It's a lot cheaper.
Previously, I have criticized Barack Obama for his pledge to build up our war in Afghanistan.
I now realize it is part of a brilliant plan to resuscitate our economy. A man with a fine sense of history, Barack knows that the only thing that pulled us out of the Great Depression was World War 11.
We’ll build up our forces in Afghanistan, lose a batch of our kids, declare that we can’t let the loss of their lives be in vain, attack Pakistan, and just for the hell of it, take out Dubai.
We will finally notice there is a brouhaha in the Middle East. Israel, without our ability to support them, is attacked by all of their neighbors, and before they get pushed into the sea, a-bomb Amman, Baghdad, Beirut, Tehran, Damascus, and Crawford, Texas.
Condemned by the world for their disproportionate response (they should not have bombed Beirut), Israel explains that the a-bombs were only designed to level the playing field.
Unnoticed, what is left of South Korea has the south kicked out of it, and is united with the North.
China calls in its chits with us, and we settle the debt by ceding them Mississippi. That one move raises the education level of the 49 United States by 20 points.
The nation yearns for a return to George Bush, and carves a huge monument to him on Mt. Rushlimbaugh.
Bernie Madoff, the $50 billion scammer, violated strict court orders not to dispose of any of his assets, distributing about $1 million worth of jewelry to friends and relatives, suggesting that these were merely sentimental gifts.
Meanwhile he is under house arrest, forced to live in a $7 million dollar residence, and to wear an ankle bracelet that records his whereabouts at any given time, just like any criminal suspect.
Except perhaps that his leg bracelet is studded with diamonds and an Audemars Piguet watch, which he will be allowed to keep for their sentimental value.
You mentioned that when China calls its chits in, we should give them Mississippi. Why do you stop there? Give them the whole damn South, including, of course, Texas... or at least the Crawford Ranch. Giving them the Ranch all by itself would be equivalent to giving them Mississippi.
Posted by: Vic Murray | January 27, 2009 at 05:28 PM