Liberals have joined with conservatives expressing nervousness over just where Judge Sotomayor will stand on the issue of Roe v Wade.
These particular doubting liberals must think that Obama only wants to be president for one term, which boggles even the most boggled of minds, or they thinks he's as dumb as they are and believe that the smartest president we have had in a very long time doesn't realize that if Sotomayor votes to overturn Roe v Wade, he doesn't have a chance in the world of getting re-elected.
One question remains. How come you doubters didn't call me in the first place?
Massachusetts celebrated its fifth anniversary of legalized gay marriages and the nation awaits their next move.
People interested in the ever-expanding freedoms are eagerly watching the tower of the Old North Church, waiting for the signal – One if by land, two if bi-sexual.
State and local officials joined forces with self-identified “good Christian conservatives” expressing fear that large numbers of Muslims would move into their lovely town of Florence, Colorado, if Muslim terrorists were transferred into the maximum-security federal prison there.
Had they the brains that some of them may have been born with, they would have known that their happy little home away from home prison is already filled with the basest of criminals and terrorists, and there are no vacancies available.
At least they all proved they were not soft on terrorism, but were simply acting in the true spirit of bi-partisan stupidity.
In the event that a room opens up, they still have two possible solutions. First, the Muslim terrorists would have to accept Jesus if they wanted to be locked up in solitary confinement inside their GCC Florence SuperMax cells and allowed to frolic outside for all of an hour a day.
The second solution is even simpler. We should secure the terrorists in windowless accommodations on the top floors of our tallest buildings around the country, or create some exclusive housing for them in the middle of our unprotected chemical plants.
The conservative Christians of Colorado should be relieved by my plan, and the courageous legislators who voted overwhelmingly against admitting more Muslims into the secure lockup should be able to get out of their wet pants and go back to whatever else they are not doing.
One question remains. How come Barack never calls me for advice?
STATUARY RAPE
Every state has two of its most important historical figures memorialized with statues in the nation's capitol. The statue of Thomas Starr King, known as the man who saved California for the Union is being replaced by one of Ronald Reagan, who removed the capital from the capitol.
The remaining Californian is Father Junipero Serra, the missionary who literally forced the natives to church by whipping them.
Conservatives who manipulated the move insist that whipping is not torture, but only enhanced evangelism.
California has gone broke, their unemployment rate is climbing to new heights, and thanks in part to their great prescience in passing Proposition 13 some years back, are hemorrhaging jobs, firing teachers, cutting aid to more than 500,00 poor families with children, eliminating medical coverage to 928,000 children, along with axing 250,000 students from the state’s community colleges, eliminating programs to rehabilitate prison inmates and considering the sale of San Quentin prison: prisoners, including some on death row, will be shoved off to some cheaper states.
All is not lost! A new initiative, Proposition 666 legalizes pot. This brilliant move takes advantage of the fact that the state cannot afford to keep hundreds of thousands of pot smokers in prison anymore, and will release them into the general population, where they will become tax-paying weed entrepreneurs.
Under another new initiative (Prop 667) people who are being ejected from their homes will be able to rent the secure San Quentin condos for a very reasonable price which will include the free medical care and advanced education enjoyed by the present occupants. Others who prefer the outdoors can camp out in the tent cities they'll be setting up in the lovely state parks they are closing.
One question remains: How come Arnie never calls me for advice?
++++++++
and now to clear my desk of some of the clean limericks that were sent in:
A Minnesota guv'nor named Tim
Whose smile was exceedingly prim
Sez we won't raise taxes
Trim service with axes
As he vetoes the bills with a grin
It's well known that Smokey the Bear
Has virtually nothing to wear
But pants and the hat
And he barely got that
By doing commercials for Nair.
And:
A zebra once married a horse.
(Mixed marriage is trouble of course.)
An ass and a goose
A mink and a Moose
Were named in the suit for divorce.
His name/s bothered me so I dropped him this note:
What's with the name Graham Graham?
for me not to know is a shayum,
If you don't tell me
There'll be no royalty
And you've only yourself to blayum.
And his reply:
Nobody gives a good daham
If I'm "gramgram" or only a "Graham."
But one, like a "Bob"
Will handle the job;
The other is only a shaham.
I I gave gave up up
There was once a man called Bob
Who's never stopped writing his blog
He's typed up a storm
From the day he was born
And it leaves my head in a fog
Now don't get me wrong,
My love it beats strong
For this man and his wife Arlene
He's a shaker and mover
And oh ... what a groover
But this limerick, I have to keep clean
To Joanne:
There lives a lass in Killyleigh
Who considered me analytically
But now she amazes
With quite fulsome phrases
And makes me seem rather sillilly.
There was a preacher from Throop
Who left that little-town group
He's set up a website
And with forensic insight
He digs into the national poop
And there I shall return.
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